Moms Talk: Managing Risk

Moms Talk is a feature on Radnor Patch that is part of a new initiative on our Patch sites to reach out to moms and families.

Radnor Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in Radnor.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community will have a new resource for questions about local neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.

Moms Talk will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic. So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with a question:

Recently the American Academy of Pediatrics stated that children should remain in their car seats facing backwards until two years old, one year longer than has been the general practice.As parents, you are always faced with possible risks to your children's well-being, whether it be letting them walk somewhere alone or ride on a rollercoaster. How do you handle the issue of risk as you try to raise your children to be independent young adults?

Darla DeMorrow:
I was about to turn my 18-month-old around with her seat this month, and then I heard the new guidelines, so I'll be keeping her put for now.  You can see already that I'm a bit more conservative than some.  I figure as long as I can manage some risks for my kids while they are small, I'll take that opportunity.

There are times when I know they are going to fall, slip, have poor judgment, and I purposely step aside and let those learning moments happen, but it is hard to do.  I recently came to embrace the idea that we want our kids to make their own mistakes and learn from them while the consequences are still nominal.  The cost of a chipped baby tooth (last week's drama) is relatively small.  But the cost of a crashed car because she never learned to self-regulate or make wise decisions is huge.  If someone has the absolute right answer, please email me!

Jill Prettyman Demmy:

 Any guidelines presented by the American Pediatrics Association are certainly worth considering, but parenting and protecting is a little more complicated than just following the rules.  There are so many factors to consider when making decisions about your child's safety and well being.  Even the most smothered child is going to fall down at some point and get hurt.  Following the guidlelines provide no guarantees.  As much as we want to protect our kids from the risks and pains of life, our real job is to guide them through these and learn to let them go little by little along the way.  I am always at the ready with band aids and hugs after a hard lesson has been learned.

My kids see many of their friends riding in the front seat against the suggested guidelines.  They continue to ask and I am holding firm on leaving them in the back seat where I think they are safer and tune out the whining with music.  This constant battle makes me wish we would all follow the same rules, but I've also been a step parent and parent long enough to know that each parent has a right to make the choices and set limits that they feel good about.  The guidelines are great and I tend to follow most of them while raising my kids, but I also respect a parent's instints in knowing what is best.