I remember being a school girl and dreaming of what I wanted to be when I grew up and my dream was to be a star. My name in bright lights! When I was young I watched Barbara Walters and was in total awe, wow… Barbara is so lucky she gets to interview the most fascinating people of that year and I wanted to be her.
I have always been very inquisitive, in fact my friends used to ask me “what are you doing writing a book?” Ha! 15 years ago I was at a Saturday Night Live after party and I was seated next to Queen Latifah, she had just completed the movie Chicago, which also starred Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Of course I started a conversation with “Queenie” and I asked so who did you like working with better, Catherine or Renee? She looked at me with a look of exasperation…”Who do you work for? What magazine?” Ha! Ha! Ha! I have never worked for a magazine, well at least never was paid to work for a magazine and here I am just a noisy girl not scared to ask the important questions.
That dream I had/have has been with me for so long and when do you give up and just let it go? Self-deprecation takes over the helm. I’m too old, too fat, I’m too!! Too! Too! I stopped chasing it and settled. I never thought I would be settler.
I have always taken chances-reached for the stars-the word NO doesn’t hurt. But, then I did. I threw the towel in! Life started getting too "life-y", too many bills, tuitions, the list never stops! Daunting scary bill collectors and mail piles up…..TIME TO GET A JOB!
A job, great pay, non-creative, pencil pushing which allows you the ability to sleep, buy things you need, pay off bills but, where does the dream go? That, old saying:” if you can’t beat them join them." I’ve joined, surrendered! No more excuses, I have tried to make a living doing what I long to do and the Universe wasn’t compliant. But, do I still try?
Can you really have it all? Or, does it just happen in the movies?
I want my children’s dreams to come true. I will be their number ONE advocate. GO DREAMS! Reach for the stars. We are American’s after all! That was how our Country was started! Crazy Christopher Columbus took a chance; he even got people to join in his quest to find this land. When he set sail everyone including himself thought the world was flat. His intuition told him differently. He took a chance and here we are living in the land of the free.
I feel blessed that I have the job I have and the ability to work but, to be honest I still want that TV show one day. I want to figure out why people do the things they do. I am not looking for simple answers, I want truth!
On ward I will march on the road to happy destiny and keep trying one day at a time.