I woke today feeling grateful and a little sorry for myself, self pity was closing in, I hate it! The pity party was beating the happy feelings...no longer neck and neck the self loathing was suffocating the joy. HELP!
Why can’t I just be satisfied where I am? No, I want more and more. What is up with that? Why can’t we just be secure and fulfilled? I live in one of the best communities in this country, I have three healthy children and a great job but, I still feel like something is missing. It is, a man!
Oh, and that dreaded Hallmark holiday “Valentine’s Day” is right around the corner... Hooray another reminder that I am alone. No, I will not have the outrageous floral arrangement delivered to my front door that the “man”, that adores me sent.
What is up with Valentines Day? First off I wanted to do a little research on the special day and I put those two words up in the google search engine and the first seven links,were ways you can express your love, food, cards and flowers. Wikipedia was #8, REALLY! If that does not explain it..LOL after feeling a little resentful I found what I was looking for.
Valentine’s Day was originally a Christan holiday and it was first established in 496 AD and in 1969 it was removed from the Christian calendar. Valentines day was a special day to express to your lover how important they are to you via, flowers, cards and candy. Throughout the world candy is the most widely used form to express your love and adoration. Now does this make me feel better...NO!
I have been single for a little while and have subscribed to all of the “fun” dating sites. Match.com, eharmony, the list goes on and on. They're dating sites for Christians, Jews, Millionaires...really??? What happened to the old simple way of running into someone at the grocery store or the post office?
I remember in college people would get all dressed up to go to the Safeway in hopes of running into Mr. or Ms. Right in the produce aisle. Not today, you have to write some corny stuff about yourself. It is like putting an ad up on eBay and instead of describing some innate object you describe yourself in hopes that someone places a bid on you! Will they buy you? Will they take a chance and not just wink but actually write? Ask you for coffee/ It is so contrived! No real feelings like you would have at the Safeway, if you saw a potential person, someone you were attracted to you would instantly get that feeling in the pit of your stomach...I remember it. The butterflies...oh yes it felt so good! Now I might be wrong but, feeling the butterflies via a computer screen and keyboard just does not work for this lady.
I will be okay without the candy, roses and cards. In fact, I will try my hardest to be grateful for what I do have...and know that one day I might have candy or flowers on my door step. Who knows — I have had it before and if it is meant to be I will have it again. If not I will be OK, I just have to get past February 14th. No biggie it is just 24 hours, 1440 minutes and 86,400 seconds. Bring it!
One day if they're flowers and the rest of it, I hope that it comes from someone that makes me feel those butterflies....have a wonderful Valentine’s Day no matter if you have someone to spend it with or not!