Cyberbullying Real and in Person

Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, text messaging and picture messaging have all become part of our everyday lives. However, social media can have devastating consequences for middle school and high school students.

Tina Meier, founder of the Megan Meier Foundation, visited Radnor High School on Thursday, May 19 to inform parents about the dangers of cyberbullying.

Meier began the Megan Meier Foundation after her daughter, Megan, was cyberbullied and committed suicide in 2006. Megan was 13 years old.

Meier began the presentation by telling the audience the importance of this type of event. “If we affect change with one person… that is absolutely worth it,” she said.

Meier then went on to tell her daughter Megan’s story. Megan began getting bullied in the later years of elementary school. She was later diagnosed with depression and Attention Deficit Disorder.

Megan asked for a MySpace account in the eighth grade, and Meier agreed, but with certain conditions.

“I was concerned,” Meier said. “I wanted to protect her.”

So, Meier kept the password, approved everything on Megan’s profile and insisted that the computer always be in an open space.

Megan soon got a friend request from a boy named Josh Evans. Megan begged to add him, and Meier allowed it and monitored their interactions. Everything was going well for a while.

Then, after inviting Josh to her birthday party, Megan began receiving hurtful messages from Josh. The messages said that he no longer wanted to be friends, that she was a bad person and that no one liked her.

A few hours later, Megan hanged herself.

“Two hours on the computer, two hours and everything Megan wanted to do was over with,” Meier said.

Meier later found out that Josh Evans was a hoax and was actually a mother who lived down the street. The neighbor’s daughter and her friend were also involved.

The effects of cyberbullying are felt not just by the victim, but by entire families as well. “My family has been destroyed from top to bottom,” Meier said. She and her husband divorced, and her younger daughter went to counseling.

Meier noted that many states have laws against cyberbullying. She mentioned checking them periodically. “They’re changing all the time,” she said.

She also gave other advice to Radnor parents about how they can protect their children.

“Bullying traditionally has not changed, but because of the technology, it’s handled in a different way,” Meier told the parents. Parents need to understand the new technology.

There are warning signs. They can include damaged clothing, missing belongings, lower grades in school, anxiety, depression and a desire not to go to school.

Parents can make a difference. “We have to talk to our children at home,” Meier said.

Meier suggests that parents supervise computer use, add monitoring software to computers and change computer settings. In the event of cyberbullying, it is important to keep all messages as evidence.

She also says parents should be Facebook friends with their children. However, the parents do need to keep their distance. “Don’t comment on every single thing they are doing,” Meier said. Parents need to establish trust with their children.

Meier also emphasized that schools need to take part in protecting students. Radnor parents and administrators agree with this.

The cybersafety presentation goes along with a PTSA focus on educating students about cyberbullying, said Jeff Smith, Radnor High School assistant principal. Earlier in the school year, a Radnor Police Detective talked to students about cybersafety.

Smith said that the school does take steps to prevent cyberbullying. However, “a lot of it goes unreported.” Often, by the time the school is aware of the cyberbullying, the damage has already been done.

While Smith said he does not believe that cyberbullying is a serious problem in Radnor, he noted that there are resources for students who are being cyberbullied. These include school counselors and the Student Assistance Program.

“If we can hear about it early, we can cut it off,” Smith said.

One parent, who wished to remain anonymous, said that while the school does play a role in helping students, the parents need to be involved.

“A lot of people are leaving it up to the school to educate,” she said.

This mother believes that parents should impose responsible limits on technology use.

She also noted the pressure students feel, for example, to be on Facebook. Students without social media sometimes feel excluded.        

Just as Meier mentioned in her presentation, this parent said that “It’s [social media] definitely something I need to educate myself about.”

Since beginning the foundation, Meier has spoken throughout the country, including at a Presidential Conference on Bullying Prevention hosted by President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama.

Meier was brought to Radnor as a part of the Verizon Cybersafe Philly program. Radnor was the ninth school in the area at which Meier spoke. The cost of the event was completely covered by Verizon.

To learn more about Meier or cybersafety, visit Meier’s website  or Verizon’s website.